Me in a Nutshell

It's been a while since I've done one of these and as I am adding some new people I decided it was about time to make one. Most of you can just plain ignore this cause you know, you know all this stuff already and it should be fairly boring to you lol. Or you can read it, but I'd be concerned if you didn't know all this after three or four years...some of you SEVEN...how have I had various journals on here for seven years?



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dean like myself is a pure virginal ange

(no subject)

Monday night was interesting.

Hell's Angels are in town, Frankie and I might have partied with them a little bit.

Confession: I hoovered about 7 rails in the process. I'm past the guilt phase of coming off coke. Now I'm stuck in the down phase / everything burns less bright.

No regrets really, just another life experience. Pretty wicked. They were actually decent guys.

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dean like myself is a pure virginal ange


Due to contractual obligations, I am no longer allowed to put up 100% full chapters of my writing on line. I am however allowed to put up excerpts and kind of would like to because, hey it's a first draft and I like feed back on even excerpts.

Would anyone even have an interest if I was to do this? Does anyone care? Anyone...anyone??.....Bueller? Bueller?

(coincidentally I've wanted to watch Ferris Bueller's Day off for weeks and cannot stop myself from making that analogy anytime I have a question.)
dean like myself is a pure virginal ange

Update Schmupdate

Don't particularly have a lot of time (story of my life these days)

A lot has happened. A.LOT.

I went to Australia for a week and had several rather enlightening talks with some boys I have a lot of respect for. Some of them were drunken. Some of them were half serious. But one in particular just kind of clicked something and made a lot of sense.

Pretty much word for word the thing that stuck out the most was...

"You have to have a balance between living your life for yourself and living your life for other people. Don't live your life for other people because it's what you think you should do or you're being pressured into doing. Live your life for other people...the right other people because you love and respect them. Live your life for yourself because you love and respect yourself. Because you shouldn't put yourself in the position of having unanswered questions if you were to die tomorrow. Don't walk out of someone's life...or chase them out of yours because you're scared. Don't dip your big toe in to test the waters...just go for it and see what happens. Maybe it works, maybe it doesn't but have the balls to go all in."

It's nothing i haven't heard before but sometimes you just have to hear things again and again to make it work.

Life advice from heavily tattooed men 5 years my junior who aren't exactly responsible...go fig.

I'm not really talking about the rest openly right now. Theres a few people who I know I can trust that I am discussing things with. I may talk about it some more in a few days / weeks or i may just wait until after I get back from my trip over the pond in Spring.

I'll just say, there's a lot of big decisions and big things happening right now. I'm still a little tentative right now...and I'm still going back and forth about some stuff in my mind but for the most part I am comfortable with what's happening right now.

I'm happy.
awww winchester heartage

I love the texts I get sometimes...


A: i enjoy the fact that he ends prior converse with an allusion to TWD

and B.

B: What most of you don't know is before this came the sweetest conversation....and then we said ttyl...and this was the first thing from "later"

dean like myself is a pure virginal ange

(no subject)

it's past my bed time...but I just have to say that it sucks that I don't know who's genuine and who is not anymore...again.

kind of makes me not want to talk about anything.
dean like myself is a pure virginal ange

(no subject)

I came to bed an hour ago to get maybe three or four hours sleep before everyone is up but instead I've been laying here weeping because I am so fucking happy. Like hand to god, heart swelling, chest bursting kind of happy. It's uncontrollable crying in a good way. My brain just can't process this amount / this kind of happiness like, you have no clue. This has never happened to me before.

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dean like myself is a pure virginal ange

(no subject)

I hate the end of tour...and love it for its awesomeness all at once.

For the first time since we've been saying goodbye it's gonna cut a chunk out of me...goodbye never felt this was with him before...it does now...even when I'm seeing him again less than three weeks...I don't wanna...I may cry

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